Thicker Than Water

This is an unpublished poem I made back in November 2008 for my sixth form, commemorating Remembrance and the lives of the soldiers who gave up their lives for our freedom. It is not a carbon copy, I have added some lines to it, despite that, I have never been happy with this poem, and I'd appreciate your feedback (I know I haven't any fans). The poem is entitled: 'Thicker Than Water.'

The waterlogged field, sitting ugly under the dusk,
The tragic fortitiude of men, from security they are torn,
The once garrulous face of the human,
Reduced to the obscurity of silence,
When will it end?

Bullets produce our want of disquiet,
I tried to stop him, beyond my reach,
Now he is beyond everyone's reach.
Get down!
Our sorrow immortalised in splintered wood and broken dreams,
When will it end?

Victory! Victory...
How do we define the word?
The answer is scribed in the blood of my consorts,
And of my own,
Has it ended?